oh Adele you understand don't you

I guess
I would like to talk to you very much, yes you would be my first choice
....except.
you are the one that I wish to talk about so it would not do
no it would never do to tell you what I wish to tell others about you
outsider's perspective, isn't that right?
I need outsiders' perspective.
but outsiders are never as interested as insiders are and so their perspective is given without much thought, really and I always feel that there is something subtly wrong with outsiders' perspective
maybe it's insider bias.
and
if I were to talk to you about you you would not take me seriously
or you would be
"confused"
or
"I see" ing me (see le pet peeves)
and plus I am uncomfortable, yes
uncomfortable talking to you because I don't know what to say or anything anymore
...this is getting very complicated and I don't like complicated the same way I don't like surprises
I guess I have to go and listen to Adele's sweet voice crooning bitter melodies
19, not 21
21 I feel has lost an elusive something
that elusive something that makes music enjoyable to listen to.
When will I feel that I can talk to you?
like, really talk to you
because I haven't
not yet.