letters to people

Dear Mr.:
People call it a 'private bubble' for lots of reasons. Just because you're in the pool and I'm in the pool does not mean that you get to invade that 'private bubble'. Grabbing my ankles when I'm trying to warm up and pulling my head underwater so I'm basically gasping for breath is not appreciated. Also, you can't just put your hands around my neck and squeeze. That's called choking. I don't like it. I'm sure I've told you lots of times. Even though I don't bruise easily and your hands don't leave any marks, it still hurts.
Stop it. Or I will just avoid you and not hang out with you and whenever I see you I will turn around and walk the other way and basically we will not be friends anymore. Or acquaintances.

Dear Mr.:
I'm sorry if it seems like I keep staring at you. I'm not. I'm rather fascinated by double eyelids. And I like your eyelids. That is why I am staring at you. Your eyelids. Not you.

Dear Mr.:
I like hugging people. Mainly, you.

Dear Mr.:
It's fine if you want to have an inside joke with another of my friends, but laughing about it with her when it makes fun of me, in front of me, just makes me feel horrible. I don't like it and I get irritated and annoyed and stop talking to either of you. BUT YOU STILL KEEP ON LAUGHING ABOUT IT. Doesn't it get old to you? Because it got old to me pretty damn fast.

Dear Ms.:
See above.

Dear Mr.:
PRIVATE BUBBLE! Stop poking me in the sides every time you see me. It hurts and I don't like it and you should keep your hands off me or I will punch you. Even if you're shorter and younger than me. That means I don't have to reach up to sock you in the face.

Dear all:
PRIVATE BUBBLE!!! Is this something freshmen/juniors don't understand?