vices

I have another vice to add on to my growing list: never content, always worrying too much, no motivation/lazy, shallow/vain, judging other people too quickly, terrible person, overly jealous. Even when there's no need to be and no coherent, logical reason that I should feel that way. And it's usually always over people.

Jealousy:

• I do not know you. I am not even your friend. I am jealous of people you talk to because I want to be your friend and get to know you and be comfortable around you.
• I guess I don't like you, but I like....... physical contact with you. Idk I'm a really touchy person apparently but I like hugging you and being around you even when you annoy me and you're being dumb. 
• I want someone to want me.
• I want someone to want me at the same time that I want them.
• I want to be loved.
• I want to feel loved.
• I am jealous of people who have the aforementioned things and don't even know it, or appreciate them, or don't know that they're lucky that they have them.

While we're on the subject, why don't we go over the rest of my vices.

Never content:

• This could tie in with some Jealousy points as well. 
• I know I have friends who care about me but I often feel that I want more than what they can give me.
• A friend has told me that sometimes I'm really kind of a perfectionist. Yes, and that's probably why I'm usually not content, or satisfied, and have such low self-esteem.

Always worrying too much:

• I stress out about so many things but don't actually do anything to change my situation.
• Because I'm so convinced that nothing I do can have any effect whatsoever so I don't even try to expend the effort.

No motivation/lazy:

• Tying into aforementioned points, I am a lazy ass and I would be happy sitting on my butt watching Community or reading a good book/fanfiction instead of studying for SATs or doing Precalc homework or even trying to study for AP Bio. 
• I am addicted to the Internet. And haven't even tried weaning myself off.

Shallow/vain:

• Yes, I take a lot of pictures of myself.
• I look into the mirror/at my reflection a lot.
• I care about my looks/clothes/face/hair a lot because I'm ugly and checking whether I got any uglier over the course of an hour.
• Also, my face gets oily and it looks bad.
• Oh I sound like a silly shallow narcissistic person right now and that's something I really need to work on but I won't.

Judging other people too quickly:

• Usually I don't hold grudges.
• But if you're annoying af the first few times I meet/interact with you I will hate you forever and avoid any future interactions and be really ... "cold".
• Also I judge people by their looks.
• And if you're cute I will stare.

Terrible person:

• If the above weren't enough to prove how horrible I am...
• I am also overly brusque
• I have no brain-to-mouth filter (I say what I think and what I think isn't always nice)
• I really hate annoying people. In a passive-aggressive way.
• If I hate you I won't confront you about it, I'll just write aggressive blog posts at you.
• I tell people about my problems all the time but I'm terrible when people ask me for advice. I'm better at the listening part.

There's more but too many to list them all at once and I have Crit. Reading homework so.