oh cats

I guess what I've been trying to say all this time is that I'm still not quite sure how you feel. I've been hiding behind routine 'Good morning's and sticking to what I know and steering carefully away from what I really want to ask you because I was kind of hurt when you said that you didn't know how you felt.
Which was quite stupid of me, I know, because you can't help how you feel or don't feel. It would just be nice to like someone and have them like me back, at the same time -- instead of how I'm left to fall in and out of obsessions alone.
Are you an obsession? I don't know. All I know is that you're cute and you're funny and I would like to watch scary movies with you, although I get scared really easily. And I'd spend most of the movie with eyes wide and hands covering mouth to keep from screaming and if a white-faced, long-haired girl ghoul appeared quite suddenly I could bury my face in your shoulder and
I could spend all day with you.
I guess I'm leaving out the fact that I'm so very awkward with you around and I think it may be vice versa because you make me nervous and I'm trying very hard to be comfortable around you but isn't it supposed to be effortless? At least that's what bad fanfictions and sappy romance-y dramas taught me and you could call me an idealistic romantic because that's what I am. Maybe I have to lower my expectations and get rid of some of the residual sappiness within me because I still don't know what I want, and I really don't know what you want or feel because when we talk we don't talk about these things.
When you ask me if there's anything I would like to talk about, I always want to ask but I never do because I'm scared and nervous and too awkward really.

On the other hand there are a few cute and funny guys that I know and I always do think about whether I could like one of these guys because they are also very attractive but I don't know they're kind of friendzoned right now and you are a little bit as well because my own awkwardness isn't letting me be more comfortable with you D: D: D:
oh boys
oh
I'll just sit here
and buy a cat
or a few hundred