n o

we are a family of mistakes and regrets and broken dreams. we gloss over those mistakes, dwell endlessly on regrets, and try to force others to live our own lost dreams.

what is the use of pushing your children through years of piano and violin lessons when real desire to play is almost nonexistent?
I wanted to learn how to play the flute when I was younger. I wanted to learn how to play the cello. Anything instead of the violin. You told me to learn how to play the violin so I learned how to play the violin.

why do I need to have expectations for myself when everything I do can never measure up to yours?
you compare me endlessly with the children of your acquaintances, then tell me that I shouldn't compare myself to other people..
when other people do exceptionally well when I perform poorly, I must be a lazy stupid slob. when I do well compared to others, I shouldn't compare myself to other people.

who needs dreams when you have my life plan mapped out?
we do not have the same priorities because in the end, my main goal in life is to be happy. if I am happy as a saleswoman, as an elementary school teacher, as a doctor, then I will have fulfilled my goal. your priorities are first to get into a good university, and then grad school, and then several degrees for myself. and I am supposed to get a doctor's degree further on in life, because you did not and only got your master's.
am I supposed to fulfill your unfulfilled desires?

we are a family that was broken years ago. we try to fix it, glue the pieces back together with childish accomplishments (piano medals! 2320 sat!), smooth the edges with the appearance of having much. we hide the tears behind walls, yell until the neighbors hear, call the police on members of our own family.
we are not a family.