CLOTHES CLOTHES

So today it was a good day because I got both my orders from YesStyle AND Threadless. First time ordering from Threadless, like fourth time ordering from YesStyle (Soon closet become only YesStyle, Forever21, Pacsun jeans lah). Anyways here I am smiling because it was a good day.

The nice, fake, polite smile that I give to cameras and yearbook pictures and I DON'T LOOK GOOD SMILING WITH TEETH THO :C

More real... you can see my large oversized rabbit teeth lol. Also my friend said a while back that when I smile really big you can see I got "whiskers" on the tops of my cheeks to match my front teeth. Was not amused :c

But yeah I see them now lah.

Anyways... clothes! First, shirt from Threadless which has the cutest/coolest T-shirt designs ever even though quite expensive. However when they has le $10 sale must get!

Yeeee. When saw this design on the website instant want. Haha. Now I keep thinking that the cutest couple shirts would be if the significant other wore the generic red one w/ "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON" one, right?

Quite tight, like skin tight (ordered a small) but because I don't really have stomach fat works out all right. Fabric smooth and soft and hopefully not shrink in le wash D:

Now stuff from YesStyle! c: Got a shirt + pair of shorts whee. Sad thing is day after order, get a coupon from YesStyle for 20% off + $10 off so mad leh.

Shirt was black cut-out Dolman sleeved shirt hehe. I seem to like these flowy/not so tight shirts better...

So yeah. Like the description. There's parts of the shoulder/arm section cut off. And yes, flowy Dolman sleeeeves.

I heard these kinds of shirts are supposed to minimize broad shoulders but I don't know about that...

Heh.

Shorts: these tan ones with buttons/chains in the front. Look very British/royal, imo.

See?

Hmm.... still don't know what I'd wear with these though.

Maybe?

Maybe. Hmm...............

Okay. End CLOTHES CLOTHES post here c:

Also, referencing the WHOO LOVES YOU shirt I just changed into... 

today during orchestra Louisa told Albert, "I heard someone saying that you looked like an owl." And Albert just stood there and gave her a funny look and I couldn't stand it that another owl joke was going to waste so I went ahead and completed her joke

"WHOOOOOO?"

on weight loss

(First of all, I am not trained or qualified to give "professional" advice. This is all from my own experience with weight loss. So, if that's clear, moving on...)
I know I'm not the healthiest person out there, nor the skinniest or the most fit. I still like my twenty-piece chicken nuggets, my chips, my ice cream, my ramen. (Although I've totally given up soda ew soda = sugar water = enormous amount of calories = instant fat. Plus it doesn't even taste that good.) Buuut I've taken the time to look up stuff like healthier alternatives, how to lose weight the healthy way, and exercising/eating well and staying fit and toning muscle and that sort of thing.
On the other hand, you always say that you wish you were skinnier but... don't really do anything about it. I've always wondered that if you spent the time that you spend now complaining about your weight instead getting fit, changing your diet options, toning muscle and losing fat that maybe you'd be healthier than I am.
(Okay dunno if that sentence made sense but it made sense in my head. My thoughts are basically one huge run-on sentence.) Anyways, you keep saying you want to lose weight but then I tell you some basic weight thing, that you should know if you even tried searching up "weight loss tips" on the Internet... something you'd do if you were really serious about getting skinnier, and you don't know about it.
So.
Some tips that I've found on the internet/made up to keep myself on the right track (Get to 103 pounds by summer, pleeeease?) and that hopefully keep me from eating crappy junk food all day.

Exercise is really only about 30% of the whole weight loss thing. If you're out in the gym all day, then go eat a Big Mac with large fries and a Coke or something, that's like taking one step forward and taking two steps back.
So... first step.

Change your diet!!!

• Cut out all soda. Immediately. Please. It is all sugar. ALL. SUGAR. 
• Cut down on chips (unnecessary carbs) and sugary snacks. (<-- ALL SUGAR.)
• Drink water. Lots of water. Recommend ice cold water because apparently that helps you burn like 20 calories an hour (...? Hmm.) Also drinking lots of water = good for your face because flush impurities from pores/skin so no more pimples! Can personally attest to this because my skin cleared up super fast after I started drinking lots of ice cold water c:
• If you don't want to drink water (Whyever not) or need a change, green tea is a good one. It also has no calories (unless you add sugar or honey, which why would you even, smh) and helps fill you and is also very good for the skin. Helps clear up redness, or so I've heard.
• Some people restrict carbs or count calories but I feel like that just easily leads to eating disorders like anorexia because they're so obsessed with counting calories they forget the healthy part of losing weight. Idk, if it works for you then.
• Don't eat past 9:30. You gain weight like CRAAAZY if you eat late meals or midnight snacks. Don't. Just don't do it.
• Eat light meals, like 100-300 calories, but don't eat just three of those light meals (you'll starve, as I know from experience). Eat lots of light meals. Try not to snack between those light meals.
• If you must snack, like you're dying, prz stay away from junk food. Eat veggies or small amounts of fruit for some natural sugars.
• Pick small plates to put your food on, and portion your food carefully. This will make you eat slower, and as a result, feel fuller faster.

On to exercise:

• Start slow. Don't expect to be able to do 100 situps the first day. 
• Don't just target and work on one part of your body. I mean, you can do some sets where you'd like to specifically lose weight, but weight is usually an over-all thing. You don't get to choose where you'd like to lose weight (thighs, face, stomach, arms) so just concentrate on slimming down your entire body. 
• Regular exercise helps build up your metabolism.
• If you don't want to be a bulky muscle monster, don't do heavy, short sets of cardio. Exercise for longer amounts of time, like walking or jogging for an hour instead of sprinting hard for twenty minutes. 

Personal tips/experience:

• Since I am already pretty toned from swimming (burning 800-1000 calories a day during swim season like yeah) the parts where I wanted to work on most were stomach/abs + thighs/legs. 
• I keep a large glass of ice cold water or green tea on my desk and when it's empty I go and refill it. But before I go I do twenty v-ups and when I come back I do another twenty v-ups.

• Still working on my sixpack.

• And thighs. For toning thighs, I just run/walk at Clubsport for extended amounts of time. Also go on the moving step machine thing. Tend to stay away from the leg weight machines because I dun wanna bulk up. Going for the whole slim/skinny but not fat thing :D

Okay so yeah. That's basically it... unless I forgot something.

Super excited to get both my YesStyle stuff AND my Threadless shirt tomorrow! C: 

camwhore

Jamming to Feel So Close - Calvin Harris right now because it was playing at the Spring Sports Assembly during MSJ swim pictures. And now it's stuck in my head.

Another thing, guys. I am aware that the picture of me and Jeremy (refer my profile picture if you were hiding under a rock during the assembly) was on the slideshow. Yes. I know. I had to see it twice, too. Because Kraftie was there for both assemblies for color guard+percussion+jazz band. Mm. I don't know why people kept telling me "I SAW YOUR PICTURE" "YOUR PICTURE WITH JEREMY OOOH" "OOOO JEREMY OOOOO" "OOOOOOOOOOOOO"
>:C

Also this post probably isn't going to have much more substance that a bunch of pictures of me being weird. So if that isn't your piece of cake feel free to stop reading. And I don't know why this webcam makes my lips look so weirdly plump.

I like to think I'm cute hee
Yes my thumbs are pretty torn up please don't ask me what happened to them I will almost invariably answer you with "bad stuff" and then change the subject.
And yes my shirt says "Whoo loves you" with "oo" as the owl's eyes^^ Oh I have a funny story about this shirt. So I was wearing it and yes, the v-neck does slip down a little low I suppose (but if you can't see my swim tan line it's all good) and then I saw Christie (Chong, she's so cute) and she just went up to me and started patting my upper... chest area and said "Oooooh why this so low? You want to seduce someone? Huh???"

So I painted my nails a while back and Idk they were supposed to be clouds but I messed up and used pink nail polish instead of the blue so
.......pink cow spots

Pimple boo. I usually never get pimples on my cheeks (only T zone :c) but hormones gah

According to people, that little strand of hair sticking out of the left side of my head (well actually right side, as all the pictures taken from my webcam are mirrored... anyways) has been sticking up all day since first period. ._.
Also I only look good smiling without teeth. Wae.

Debating making these two pictures a gif
ok done

yuuus
will I ever tire of making pointless gifs
hopefully never

yeeeeeeee
hello friends.
idk why my face has been so red recently :c

and why my teeth are still so block-like and C@N'T B T@M3D~~1!~1~!!!~!11!!
even after totally pointless braces+retainers :c

End camwhoring.
Also did you know, I now have two "ships" trailing me at all times. Half of my friends are convinced me + a certain guy; the other half is me + another guy.
Can you just like. Not ship. At all. Thanks.

this is an update

First, pictures because I like to think I'm cute.

I seem to have this pose a lot...

I realize that I haven't been making many posts lately, but it's not because I'm lazy. Okay yeah, that's part of the reason, but also lately I haven't had many... feels worthy of being blogged. I do have feels but they're so... jfkdsl;akdjlfsk that I am rendered incoherent and... yeah.
Moving on.
I'm so busy. Like I have so many due dates/deadlines looming overhead yet... I don't have any motivation. At all. Okay, I know what you are all thinking -- "Janis, you never had any motivation to do anything before, either!" No, actually, I did study the day before and still manage to get good grades and stuff. But it seems now that it's May, it's warm, short-wearing weather, and I'm just really really extremely lazy all of a sudden and can't even rouse myself to do anything like before. When my conscience was more active. Now it's just... slumbering. I get terrible lab grades in chem but I don't care because... well, because I still have an A. I don't understand a thing but keep bullshitting all my lab answers because I'm literally thinking "paq yoo all" while writing them.
Extremely worried about all my finals, especially English and AP Music Theory because I have flat 90's in those classes... and those classes are the ones with the hardest finals. They're both group/partner projects and the thing is, my group is basically as lazy as me so there's no one to get me moving =___= Have to memorize 60 lines of Shakespeare and act it out w/ costumes/props for English, partnered up with Caleb and so far we have done nothing. ...
But I also have the choir performance tomorrow, which I am soloing in, which I have barely (if even that) memorized the movements/lyrics/words. Used to be I had no trouble with memorization.... but the entire choir group is so tired and lethargic and we don't try anyways so.
Also with AP Chinese I take it on Saturdays so I must write a report/give a two minute oral presentation on a movie we watched in class.... yeah, should probably start on that too. (In all reality, going to be typing it up the day before it's due......)
More stuff like Syncopasians' audition that I'm STILL not sure if I want to audition for, since that'll be another thing to stack on my plate for next year.
During the summer, after all this finals bs is over, I have SAT boot camp and SAT Chinese to study for and precal too. Then the English writing workshop in Boston.
Busy busy busy....
Oh and feels too. Since I love EXO (and they're in LA right now RIGHT NOW and they were just in Disneyland DISNEYLAND and so many fans got real up close with them and pictures too AND REAL HD CLOSE UP PICTURES TOO) and my feels I can't
and there's a boy mixed in my feels too but
I can't let myself get too distracted I guess? Just end up sleeping later and later and waking up earlier and earlier and hormones and pimples and gah
Would it help my shit life if I were attractive

dammit

Lately, I've realized something.

I am really, really, really shallow. I care (almost obsessively) about appearances and how I look and how people see me and what people think of me. And what they think shouldn't affect me, because they're strangers, after all, no matter how much they talk about my neon green pants or the fact that my hair is suddenly tangerine. I do these things (wear spiky bracelets, floral bodycon dresses, etc.) because I want to, and not according to anyone else's fashion trends or opinions on what 'should be worn' and what 'shouldn't be worn'. But still. I hate it when people talk about me behind my back, judge me by what I'm wearing, by what color my hair is because they don't know me, yet they're making rude statements about me behind my back. Don't even have the balls to say it to my face. And when they do, it's always silly inane stupid comments like.

"Your pants are green."

"Whoa your pants are so bright."

"Your pants are bright green."

"Janis. Your pants. They're green."

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA, YOU DON'T SAY?

Another thing is yes, I do constantly check my reflection in ... anything that's reflective and yes that comes off as vain and silly and yes I am vain and silly, thanks.

I also do wipe my face with oil blotting sheets because HOLY SHIT, MY FACE IS OILY WHOOOOOOOA. The oil blotting sheets are NOT wax paper. Yes, I'm wiping my face. Yes, this is what I do. Yes, unless you'd like my face to look like a huge oil slick.

Finally, I spend my time being shallow and trying to be kawaii and all and part of the reason is because I'm losing motivation to do anything or become anything. 

Part of the reason that I'm losing motivation is because I'm drifting away from people and things and God. I've taken a long time to figure this out but I finally figured out that I don't really fit in anywhere unless it's with a certain group of people and sooner or later (in like two years, in fact) I'll be alone again so really I'm just purchasing material goods to fill up loneliness and drowning my sorrows in green tea instead of praying to God.

Why am I not praying to God? Part of the reason for THAT is because I have no friends in church. Or Bible study. Or fellowship. Or anything. 

Okay, I have friends. I mean, no one hates me or anything and I don't hate them but I'm not comfortable with anyone. I don't fit in. Again. During Bible study I don't get it. Everyone else is seeing something from another point of view but I'm still lagging behind with 'basic concepts' and not seeing what everyone else is seeing. I guess I'm too late to try and fit in...? So I don't go to Friday night fellowship and I don't go to Christian club (too tired? too lazy?) and I don't go to Bible study sessions and I don't

I don't even pray anymore and I guess that's what's been bothering me. In being so sure that I don't fit in I've distanced myself even more and I just get so surprised whenever anyone wants to talk to me at church and I stepped away from God and 

I have so many troubles and issues that are miniscule, really, when you look at the big picture but I never want to look at the big pictures, just focus on the detailed problems, because I'm so concerned with grades and appearances and 

not even grades I don't understand anything I'm so stupid

so I resort to appearances and
then I have problems with PEOPLE
people
I hate people
they make me so confused and I want them to go away for a little bit because dammit I have problems you're my friends why don't you see
oh wait because you don't care right
also I am shit at masking emotions so when I'm having a bad day I just don't talk because I'm sure that if I had to respond to some stupid comment another stupid person said I'd blow up in their faces and probably make my problems even bigger

fuck

hi

so pics first

no bb cream today... just concealer lol

are those hips 

close up of what could possibly be hips

WHOA ARE THOSE CURVES I SEE loljk they’re just man shoulders

:c
deciding whether I want to buy this bodycon dress from an acquaintance... I've been eyeing this dress on the Forever21 website forever (lol) but recently my friend of a friend put this up for sale so
hmmm
yeah I'm gonna get it makes my stick straight body have hips
and boobs
oh yeah

and this dress looks pretty tight, which it is, but it's also like super stretchy and comfortable and sjfkld;salkjdfljd perfect. I'm buying it for $9, which is cheaper than on the website ;D
veryverygood.

oh zodiacs

soooo I don't really believe in all that astrology mology hocus pocus about signs and stuff
but today my carpoolers Alisha and Annaliese (freshmen love) were talking about zodiacs and how they were looking on websites and stuff and everything
and then they started talking about 'compatible' signs with their signs and I said oh, send me a link so I can see what's good for Aries ;D
and then Annaliese actually did
so apparently I'm

okay.... straightforward enough.
and then I check my ex-crushes.... NONE OF THEM ARE LEOS OR SAGITTARIUSES LOL OMFLKDSJAF;DJ JF LOL THIS IS WHY IT NEVER WORKED OUT WE WERE NEVER FATED TO BEEEEE

so only Calvin and Jeremy Mak are Leos.... hm. INTERESTING
and so far can't find any Sagittarius people. HEY IF YOU'RE BORN BETWEEN NOV. 23 AND DEC. 21 MESSAGE ME ;)
loljk I'll think you're a creep but um
oh and between July 23 and August 22 ;D
Also checked Steven Chi and he's a Taurus.... so we learn from each other's differences?
and Michael's an Aries so we got dat 'like minded soul' thing going on
...?
and then I told Makdaddy about it and

the 'sexy tan beast' thing is an inside joke btw

I can't
ALSO THEN I LOOKED UP THIS GUY ON THE SWIM TEAM WHO'S REALLY HOT BUT I NEVER REALLY TALKED TO HIM WAS JUST CONTENT TO STARE AND ADMIRE FROM AFAR HIS PRETTY LOOKS'S BIRTHDAY
AND HE'S A SCORPIO
which is an "opposite I'm attracted to", according to my zodiac sign
lol so many 'coinkidinks', quoting Jeremy Mak
anyways just thought this was funny and apparently worth blogging so end post
also one last thing

I can't

oh

so we text all the time right
and we were like rating people
because he asked me who I thought was cute
and I said a list of like............. five people, and "sometimes you"
and then I asked him to rate people
and he told me to give him names
so I did
a lot of girls lol
and he kept saying different things like "not my type" or "kind of cute I guess" or "no" or "not very cute but ok she has a nice personality"
and then I asked him to rate me
and he said
"You... cute."
and
that was all
and eeeeeeeeeee